Guy walks into a bar.

Bartender: Put your hand on the table. Guy: ok.

Bartender smashes a 2 1/2 lb hammer onto his hand. Guy: fkkkkkk.

Bartender: Here take these for pain, inflammation, sleeplessness and pay me all you got. Guy: ok.

Week later... Guy: I have gangrene. Bartender: Put your hand on the table. Guy: ok. Bartender calls the chef in and chops off his hand with a meat cleaver. Lots of blood. More drugs. Guy's money runs out.

Bartender: Do you own your house? Guy: Yes. Bartender takes his house and schedules intense therapy until bill matches house value then get evicted. Child, pregnant wife homeless and he can't work. Sorry, only one hand.

Guy dies and homeless wife and child march into the bar.
Wife: My husband died; what should I do now? Bartender: Lady, there's no cure for stupid. Put your hand on the table.

The birth of the Pharmapoison Cartel.